Wednesday, January 09, 2008

eve

all set and ready to go~ and the jolts of fear start striking. not for any physical toughness or discomfort... but fear of the emotions themselves. i don't make new friends easily and i can't draw energy from socializing with ppl i don't know well... so i'm afraid that i'll feel lonely, that i'll miss home, that i'll feel depressed. that dark weight looming down, letting no light through. overwhelming darkness. that oppressing feeling.

lolz i've not broken down and i'm not about to. i don't intend to in army. but i will struggle. so i send out a plea. a darkened soul is searching for light and for love... sms me =) remind me there are ppl who care. i know there are. it's just hard to remember sometimes. there's a raw fragile side, unexposed and about to be battered.

i will survive. no doubt abt that lolz. no fear abt it also. but as introverted as i am, i draw my comfort and my security and my fulfillment from my loved ones. leave me a message from time to time k? i have no doubt how bright those sparks will be in such gloom.

a few that i have not managed to meet up and spend time with... they'll stay in my heart. unexplored (yet), but unforgotten. i'll get back to those one day =) sooner than later i hope. *ohana*

|12:17 AM|


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